Well that happened
by Awesomeness-weirdo-Bp
Summary: Lol i'm not even sure what this things about anymore. I haven't abandoned the story just been really busy and just now got the internet back i'll try and update soon. BP
1. Chapter 1

Piper

When I walked into the suburbs I regretted it immediately. Seeing Alex in such intimate quarters with Nicky I knew she had moved on especially when Nicky's other hand was nowhere to be found and Alex was biting back a moan. I stopped halfway to her bunk and pivoted walking out before they could say anything. There was no need. I understood; it was over, it was really over. I had fucked up for the last time. I was truly and utterly alone yet I wasn't alone I just felt that way. The truth was I still had plenty of friends and a whole fucked up prison family. I just felt empty because I lost the person I had for so long, even after all the shit we (I) had put each other through, but I knew I had to move on. I would drop it just stay the fuck away from Alex just like she had asked however hard that would be it was the best for both of us.

Hey maybe if I put all the effort I put into crying to Alex into working out I may actually get out of here as ripped as I told Larry I would be. I winced at the thought of Larry but the truth was I didn't really love him I just loved the idea of him and the safe steady lifestyle he offered. The one my parents always tried to force upon me. I never really stopped to think about him really I just knew that he loved me or who he thought me to be. Honestly he never really understood who I was; he was just a desperate Jew with boring sweaters that knew when to order Chinese. Just what everyone else wanted for me.

"Ay yo Chapman c'mon shows startin" Poussey yelled running by. Not realizing how long I had been sitting absorbed in my own thoughts I decided to get up. Why not have a little fun.

About halfway through the Christmas special my emotions got the best of me and I had to leave and clear my head. Once I got outside I walked over to the fence letting my head rest against the cool metal. After about five minutes I turned around deciding to head back inside only to come face to face with Pennsatucky in her white shower curtain of a dress.

"What the hell do you want Pennsatucky" I said in a low voice.

"It's not what I want Chapman" she said spitting my name out like it was poison "It's what God wants"

She pulled out a wooden cross with the bottom sharpened. Fucking shit this bitch is gonna try to kill me. I saw Mr. Healy out of the corner of my eye just standing there watching us like there was nothing wrong.

"Mr. Healy Mr. Healy help, help she's trying to kill me" I screamed hoping for a reaction but all he did was walk inside. Fucking douche! Knowing he would be no help I raised my hands into fists to try and defend myself.

"What you think I'm scared of you Chapman, huh is that what you think? 'cus I'm not scared of you, I got God by my side" Doggett yelled "and he told me you ain't worth nothin."

Her words momentarily stunned me, maybe she's right maybe I'm not worth it, maybe I should just go quietly. I was taken out of my thoughts by a sharp pain on my right wrist followed by a warm rush of blood down my arm.

"Ow you fucking shit toothed bitch" I screamed turning away cradling my wounded hand.

"What'd you call me" she asked.

"A dyke fucking shit toothed cunt loving psychopath" I yelled back.

"No I ain't no lesbian I ain't no abomination of God" she spat back "God wants me to smite you right where you stand" she lashed out once more slashing my left forearm and palm. "See see how he just works through me, your kind is a disgrace you're a devil that's what you are and I'm an angel of God I mean look at my dress"

After saying that she started jabbing at me randomly a few of which I avoided but she did get a few in random places like a slash down the thigh or a gash on my shoulder. I saw her winding back to make a heavy blow but brought my foot up a second too late. I felt a deep searing pain in my lower abdomen.

"You'll never get away with this, I swear I'll drag your ass down to hell with me" I swore breathlessly.

I kicked her off of me angling my foot towards her crotch but she held tight brought me down with her impaling me on the wooden shank once again near my ribs. I dragged myself up feeling her twisting and dragging it through my side. I grabbed the hand she was holding the cross in tight bringing my elbow down on the back of her elbow feeling a satisfactory snapping her screams meant nothing to me as I brought myself up to straddle her crashing my fists into her face feeling bones snap and blood spatter although at this point im not sure who's. I heard her attempt to make words with her deformed face and decided to hear what she had to say.

"You ain't worthy of his love… you ain't worthy of no one's love" She gurgled.

As soon as the words left her mouth I silenced her with my fists then collapsed beside her unintentionally landing on her wooden weapon. I gasped out painfully with every intake of breath but unable to move my silent screams filling the air. 'You ain't worthy of no one's love' Pensnsatucky's words ran through my head one last time before everything went dark.

Poussey

Sometime during the performance me Taystee and Black Cindy were putting on I noticed Piper walk out. Well damn rude ass bitch gon leave before my solo but afterwards when I noticed she hadn't returned and a certain Jesus loving meth head was missing I turned to Taystee who shared my concerned expression.

"We gotta find her before the guards do" she whisper yelled.

"Who we gotta find" Cindy asked turning around.

"Piper hurry up get Vause and them other whites to help but don't let none of the guards know" Taystee said running(ish) off into one direction.

"Oh that white bitch who got the bible fucker after her" Cindy inquired.

"Yes dumbass now hurry up I'll grab Vause you check a dorm bathrooms and shit" I yelled running off after Alex or whatever her name is.

Nicky and Vause were just getting up when I reached them.

"Have (Breath) either (more breathing) of you (shorter amount of breathing) seen Chapman" I asked leaning against the chair.

"Ugh what now no I haven't seen her why are you coming to me with her problems" Vause snapped getting visibly irritated at pipers name.

"Listen I don't know what kind of drama been goin 'round in the whites but piper's missing and we need to find her before the guards do" I replied.

"Why the hell does it matter this is prison there's not many places to go" Nicky chimed in.

"That's exactly the problem you dumbasses" I yelled "Jesus freaks been makin threats on yo girl word id she tryna kill her and they both gone so we need to find they asses"

"She's not my girls im tired of digging her out of all the shit she gets into good luck" Vause said coldly before walking out leaving Nicky behind.

"Shit you mean Doggett" Nicky asked.

"Yeah Taystee walked in on her and her crew bout to fuck her up got the razor in the tooth brush I mean if T aint get there when she did that girl'd been gone" I answered.

"Fuckin A" she started pacing back in forth God damn this bitch need to hurry up piper could be dead already "Alright okay so ill get our girls up and check A dorms and the kitchen and yall get I dunno anywhere else ill check with the Latinas to see if they'll help there's a lot of them" Before we could do anything I heard a scream coming from outside.

"Fuck that sounds like Alex" Nicky said before running off.

Fuck never shoulda left this bitch alone. God knows Pennsatucky's Psycho but she can fuck a bitch up, that girl gotta lot of tricks up her sleeve.

By the time we got to Alex Taystee, Janae, and that Morello fucker was already there.

"Get a guard I think she's dead" Morello cried.

"Fuck Janae go grab someone you fast" I yelled making my way over to a crying Vause who was holding piper in a pool of blood and Taystee was lookin at some other pile of bones and blood I assumes was Doggett.

"Holy fuck man bitch got fucked up but she went down swingin" I murmured.

"Damnit it my fucking fault I shouldn't of left her alone or pushed her away maybe she would have told me about this and I could of helped her taken out these meth heads" Vause the giant cold sexy (for a white girl) drug importing Vuase was sobbing about a bitch who fucked her over twice.

"Na man it ain't yo fault we all shoulda kept her close especially the ones who knew Pennsatucky was after her" I said in an attempt to comfort her.

"Oh Alex c'mon sweetie we gotta let the guards get her she'll be okay she's a tough one" Morello sang out in her high pitched funny accent rubbing circles in her back. Well I guess she did a much better job than I did.

"Inamtes clear out1 Vause get the fuck off of her Holy shit blood" Pornstache yelled before doubling over at the scene in front of him. I had to drag Vause off of Chapman so Bennett could reach her.

"Mendez call an ambulance right now and get Caputo down here now" Bennett ordered with a sense of authority in his voice.

By the time and ambulance had gotten here Bennett had stopped the bleeding in a gash of her shoulder and leg but the two in her abdomen were still gushing and no one knew what to do about Doggett. Vause started crying all over again sobbing into Nickys shoulder which was a huge deal. It was extremely rare to ever see Vause cry the only one to have seen it being Taystee and Nicky in the Library but now she was downright sobbing in front of everyone in account of someone who was dead to her not 10 minutes ago.

As soon as Piper was up on the Stretcher the medic started naming multiple wounds recording them on some..recording…thingy "Looks like Victim ones left lung is punctured multiple Lacerations to the upper body and one on the left right thy. A huge tear in the left Thenar muscles continuing to the latissimus dorsi and probably a injured organ from the looks of the amount of bleeding on the other abdomen wound, hands are fractured and the knuckles seem deformed with many cuts assuming from the broken bones of victim twos face. Victim two's injuries will not be able to be recorded until we have reached the hospital and emergency surgery may be necessary"

"Oh shit that girl got fucked up" Black Cindy muttered.

"Yeah for real I'm not sure she'll be coming back" a new voice added in. As soon as we turned around a smiling Leanne.

"You fucking cunt" I shouted grabbing for her neck.

"Yo P chill" Taystee said pulling me off of the meth head who collapsed grabbing at her throat "An d you fuckers best stay away from us 'cuz I seem to remember yo bitch got real fucked up too" she added.

"Upon further observation it looks like victim two has suffered a broken pelvic bone along with very few other injuries to the genital area" The paramedic added questionably before hopping into the ambulance with Bennett and Caputo.

"Oh shit she actually did it she fucked up her vaj-j haha" Cindy yelled.

Damn that bitch was a fighter after all.

 **Okay so I know that this was kind of short and really just everywhere I'm not really 100% happy with it but it'll do for now. If I get a decent reply for it I'll keep going and probably revise the first few chapters after a while when I get a more set idea of what everyone wants from this story I'm starting on chapter 2 right away but it won't be uploaded until I have at least one more chapter done. After that my updating schedule will be every 5 reviews or once a week. sorry for the amount of profanity.**

 **Stay Awesome Bp**


	2. Chapter 2

**Piper  
** I felt fuzzy. In pain that's for sure but oddly fuzzy it was like I could feel my body but I wasn't in it. I could hear Alex scream but I wasn't there to feel her tears dripping down my blood stained shirt. When I heard Caputo calling for the ambulance I wasn't sure of who it was for. Did I really mess up Doggett that bad or did she finally get what she was after. I wasn't sure of how long I just laid there in the snow feeling the blood flowing out of me but I could feel myself growing fainter every moment the loud thumping I could feel vibrating throughout my body was becoming quieter and quieter. At some point I got moved into an ambulance and I could hear the paramedic documenting my injuries, and Pennsatucky's. Wow I really did do some damage I thought proudly. After a while everything just seemed to go dark again and I couldn't feel a thing which was probably good because I was in a lot of pain, unless that meant I was dead. I mean the dying part wasn't as intimidating it was just the fact that Pennsatucky was the one who caused it. That would kinda suck. I don't like her very much.

When the darkness finally subsided I awoke to a very bright room. When I tried to move my arm I felt a deep pain that made me want to hurl. Where was I? When I opened my eyes I was met with a very up close nurse with rosy cheeks and too much eye shadow.

"I'll let the doctor know you're awake" She said in a very nasally voice harsh to my ears.

When the doc came in he ran various tests looking back at his clipboard every 5 seconds to check off something random. It went on for about half an hour before he gave me any news on my condition or even told me where I was.

"Give it to me straight doc" I said in attempt to make light in the situation. Needles to say he didn't find it very humorous.

"Your condition is very serious, you had a punctured lung and a ruptured spleen which caused severe internal bleeding. We were able to save the spleen which is very rare with such a severe injury so you should be thankful. You left lung was punctured but it didn't collapse so it won't take as long to heal. Your right hand is broken and you busted a couple of your knuckles. You suffered many stab wounds but they missed most internal organs and stuff of that matter, most. There is one condition I will need to speak with you about when you are more emotionally stable." When he spoke his voice was voided of emotions he didn't take the time to sugar coat it but he still hadn't told me what I really wanted to know. When will I be getting out? "It will take about a month before you can leave and you will need to have a check up regularly with your prison faculty medical advisor to check for infections and to see how your lung is holding up. You may also need some physical therapy, don't push yourself to hard it will only make it worse you must allow your wounds to heal. With the amount of blood you lost it is a miracle you're alive." Well I take that back. Man this guy really doesn't let you get a word in does he?

"Hey doc" I called weakly when he started walking out of the room. "What happened to Pennsatucky?"

"I'm not allowed to discuss other patients cases" he replied walking out " But you sure did give us a run for our money trying to remodel her facial structure or more like a run for the prisons money" he added before the door was shut.

Wow I really did mess her up. I sat for a while wondering what that condition he had been talking about. Trust the Jesus freak to fuck my life up for good. I wonder if Polly would visit or if she would be allowed, or if she would even care. I know my mom would be beyond pissed that I had gotten in to trouble, but maybe some good could come from it. The prison must be near broke from medical expenses so if we threatened to sue them I might be able to get some time off my sentence.

 **Third person back at Litchfield  
** Alex was still devastated even a week after the piper Pennsatucky incident. Even the bible bangers were out of it when there mistress didn't come back the next day riding on unicorns calling Jesus Christ down from the heavens. But the co's still wouldn't tell anyone anything Poussey almost got sent to SHU for asking but after the first week when Bennett went to clear out Pipers bunk everyone in the suburbs and the ghetto stood outside and wouldn't let them touch a thing.

"Don't be fucking with Chapman's stuff" Janae said stepping out in front of Bennett. If Janae was out defending Piper than anyone would know there must be something going on even Bennett seemed to realize that.

"It's Caputo's orders I don't care who does it but this bunk needs to be cleaned out by dinner" the guard said before turning away.

"So she's gone" someone from the group said quietly stopping Bennett in his tracks.

"By dinner" he yelled before walking away rubbing the back of his head. No one said a word just lowering their heads until Nicky broke the silence in a shaky voice.

"I want the radio" Nicky said grabbing it off her desk wiping a stray tear away before anyone could see it, other than Lorna thinking if she showed her vulnerable side or looked hurt she might get some sex later. Various books and other personal memorabilia's were taken and they started to wrap up the bedding if you would call it that.

"Wait" Alex cut in before they could start taking things off "I want the blanket". Everyone was astounded that she actually showed up and was looking at her teary eyed Piper may have been a narcissistic bitch but she was different not a good different nor a bad different she was just different it was refreshing to have something new sometimes even if her drama was irritating but what did a blanket have to do with it?. "It was Claudette's, when Piper comes back- _if_ she ever comes back she'll want it" she continued with unshed tears in her eyes.

"Yeah no problem except I was gonna take it" Big boo said muscling her way up to Alex. 'Is she really about to do this? Now of all times when I finally mustered up the courage to even go over there she wants to try and act tough like she has something to prove'

"Boo chill c'mon you know she's going through some tough shit" Nicky said grabbing for the blanket which Big Boo pulled back.

"So, everyone else is going through some shit too why is Alex here an exception" Big Boo said crossing her arms getting a glare from Red and a low raspy chuckle from Alex who immediately hardened her expression"

"What's so fu"- Big Boo was cut off by a hard fist to the nose dropping the blanket to try and stop it from bleeding. Taking that opportunity Alex grabbed the blanket from the floor.

"Well let me know when you figure that out" Vause said walking back to her cube before stopping and turning to a bloody nose Boo "And it's Vause only time people call me Alex is when they're screaming it in the chapel!"

"Damn when all the white girls get so violent" Cindy asked no one in particular. Everyone just shrugged and went back to moping other than Boo who walked off to clean up her nose.

At dinner that night Big Boo was nowhere to be seen but Alex was Just as bright as a summer day in contrast to most of the other suburbians which was worrying Nicky but that was soon forgotten when Lorna dragged her into the chapel crying. Alex was sitting in bed reading when Gina walked up telling her red wanted to see her. She didn't trust Leanne with Piper's blanket so she wrapped it around her shoulders before walking off to find Red.

"Hey Red Gina said you wanted to talk to me what's up" she said walking into Reds cubical.

"Hello Child here sit down" Red said, well more like ordered everyone knew that it was in there best interest to do what Red said even if it was as simple as that. Vause **(Bc I'm not screaming her name no where haha)** wasn't looking for trouble so she did as she was told and sat down at the end of the bunk.

"Why would you send Gina when I'm literally 2 cubes down" She asked before red had a chance to say anything.

"B'cause I'm lazy" red shrugged "Now to business, that stunt you pulled earlier with Boo" Alex started to defend herself but Red cut her off "I was going to say thank you b'cause if you hadn't done it then I would have done it later…With a frying pan probably" she added making Alex laugh.

"Listen I'm glad you're back to your usual bad assedness but I'm a little bit suspicious to how you went from sobbing in your sleep to whatever this is"

"Chapman broke me… twice might I add. She got what was coming for her" Alex said coldly.

"Then what was that blanket stunt" Red exasperated

"It's a nice blanket"

Alex walked out before Red could see her break heading back to her bunk where Leanne was nowhere to be found which relieved Alex. She still didn't trust the bible banger it took all of self restraint not to shove a screw driver up her hoochi in her sleep. She collapsed into the bunk with silent tears streaming from her eyes holding the blanket close. It still smelt like Piper. The thought made her smile. 'Why does she always have this effect on me?' she thought sadly 'every time no matter what she does I'm always ready to run back to her. I can't even fathom losing her again so I would just stay away however hard that would be it was the best for both of us but seeing her in a pool of her own blood crushed me harder than she ever had before.' The relationship between the blond and raven haired girl had become poisoned by business in its final months. Alex had become drowned in business. Whenever the two spent time together it always had something to do with business; Alex and Piper at a 'business' party, Alex holding a 'business' meeting at the hotel discussing drops, profits, and the worst the mules. Oh how Piper loathed the mules. Always openly flirting with _her_ girlfriend and Alex encouraging it always pushing it off as 'business' Alex never cared she gave the girl an opportunity to travel the world she could deal with a few nights alone, and Piper could but when she Alex started dragging her into things getting her involved with the big people just like she asked not to Alex started treating her more like a mule less like a girlfriend and everyday for eight years straight she regretted it.

 **Piper,  
** At first Piper was confused, and then confusion was replaced by boredom, and boredom anger. It had been a week and no one would tell her jack squat about her said _'condition'._ Apparently there was a trial on Tuesday but she didn't know what day today was so that didn't really matter. The doctors came and checked on her once a day but other than that she was left alone. No visits no phone calls nothing she was stuff in an empty white room chained to a bed plugged into a monitor. She wasn't even allowed to have a book! When pain meds were brought in she checked them. The pain let her know she was real, after she started hiding her pills she started thinking of a plan to sneak them back into the prison. The first pill she took knocked her out for hours even after she woke up she just felt tingly.

When the day of the trial finally came Piper could barely walk. The wound in her leg had healed mostly but it was still painful and she hadn't put any weight on it in 2 weeks. She had been offered no physical therapy and was thinking more and more about suing the prison for neglecting their wounded. She hadn't showered since she was emitted into the hospital.

"Chapman?" a familiar voice called through the door.

When she tried to acknowledge the voice not much came out. Her voice was rough from not using it I n two weeks. When the door opened it was Caputo that walked in but Pornstache and Bennett could be seen outside.

"Oh gosh, you sure took a beating didn't you"

"Well na dip Sherlock" Piper managed to get out sounding like a strangled cat.

"They been treating you well I see" He said

"Get out"

"Can't do that we got a couple of things fig wants to get straight, you know so that we know the right story"

"Bull shit and you know it she's just trying to save her ass" _I am so suing these bitches_ she thought _for every fucking penny they got._

"Will you please just go with it, you know fig has a tendency to act like a five year old, if you don't do what she wants there will be hell to pay especially if you get her into any trouble or make her do her job" Caputo pleaded.

"You can tell fig that I said.. um tell her I said, screw it you think of something but make it seem bad ass give her some of your mind but like you know in my name" Piper said tired.

"God your gonna get me fired" he said running his hands through his few mangy strands of hair.

"Just tell me when I get to leave"

"Well the trial is today that's why we dragged our asses out here so you need to get up and get dressed jeeze they told me you were refusing to shower but gosh you really do stink"

Hearing the made piper infuriated, they treated her like shit then told everyone it was her fault! There was going to be hell to pay, she would make sure of it.

"That's fucking Bull shit they don't do shit around here I'm stuck chained to a bed 24/7 I'm fed through a tube I'm pretty sure I'm growing a second head through my side and they refuse to tell me shit about my said 'condition' until I'm more emotionally stable which is total fucking bull I haven't done anything but sit here staring at that wall for 14 days straight" When she finished her rant Caputo looked pissed.

"Get up" he ordered.

"I'm cuffed to the bed dumb ass"

"Screw it I'll be back" he said

"Wait what about me!" Piper yelled but he was already out of the room and down the hall.

 **It's another short chapter i know and definitely not the best but i got the five reviews so i decided to post something and i have chap 3 going which i think will be much better, i am trying a new style of writing with the like 3rd person stuff so let me know if it's any better than the p.o.v or which you would prefer in a review or pm after this story is going strong i plan on starting another one about how Laura and Taylor react as actress's and stuff so if you have any requests or suggestions pm me and stuff, so yeah thank you for the reviews and happy reading or well waiting now i guess for like the next chapter...**

 **Stay Awesome Bp**


	3. Chapter 3

Caputo walked up to Piper's doctor who had been standing at the front desk and grabbed him by the collar "What the hell is wrong with you, you insolent fuck faced bastard" he yelled.

"Sir I'm not sure what you're talking about if you would just calm down I'm sure we can talk about this in a more civilized manner" the doctor yelped.

"Why should I, huh why should I be civilized to you when you've been treating my inmate like a fucking hound huh so why should I be treating you any differently tell me that" Caputo spat.

"Once again sir I haven't a clue what you're talking about Tiffany is perfectly fine" the doctor stuttered.

"I'm talking about Piper you idiot, you know Piper Chapman the one who almost fucking died why the hell would you be treating her any different than Doggett you fuck face" he continued shouting but now letting go of his shirt.

"Sir no offence but Tiffany is a hero" The man said.

"What the hell are you talking about son" Caputo said slowly.

"She's the savior of the unborn she's amazing sir"

"Okay then, thanks for the news report now why the hell is she being treated any differently than the other inmate" Caputo yelled reaching for the collar again.

"we've been receiving payments from her supporters that allow us to give her better conditions your prison hasn't been doing anything for Piper we can't do any tests, there is an irregularity but we won't be able to diagnose it without a ct scan and we need consent and authorization from Mrs. Figueroa" the doctor explained once again being released before Caputo walked away back to Chapman's room.

To find out that _Doggett_ was receiving payments for medical care was unbelievable. It would have needed to go through Litchfield. Her room was pristine and had a TV and everything, she got multiple meals a day at her request, she could be discharged any moment but the Hospital was just draining as much money as they could while Piper was stuck in those horrible conditions, it seriously disgusted Mr. Caputo. ' _This shouldn't be legal'_ he thought.

"Hey do you think you can walk" he asked quickly once he was back in the room.

"I'm not sure, are you going to tell me what that was about. There was a lot of yelling" She asked.

"Just answer my question can you walk" he said a little bit louder.

"Well damn Caputo I don't know I could probably try if you got me unchained from this bed" she said matching his volume.'

"Not chained it's just hand cuffs" Caputo murmured under his breath

"Um excuse me they are a connected flexible series of metal links used for fastening or securing objects and the last time I checked that is a part of the definition of chains do not ask me how I acquired this knowledge" Piper replied nonchalantly.

So Caputo set off to grab the keys. _'When did I let this happen'_ Piper started thinking _'Why did I let this happen, good God if I had just let her go in the first place I could be at home with Larry watching 'Mad men' eating Chinese food married with a kid and a soap business, but here I am, in a hospital because I got stabbed, in a prison, by a crazy meth head Jesus freak who wanted me dead because I disrespected her by believing in science and not having a baptism…in a prison. But I guess I could have just blamed it on that stupid burlesque show with that stupid surprisingly sexy Ray Romano puppet show'_

She could, but since being emitted in that hospital she had a reality check, she _was_ a WASP-y narcissistic bitch who never took responsibility for her actions and expected nothing to change. Notice the 'was' and you probably can guess this from the italics, it means that she's changing, making progress, they say prison changes people, and it does but who said it can't be for the better.

By the time Caputo got back Piper had snapped out of her train of thought so he unlocked her cuffs and she tried to stand but it didn't go very well. The Bones in her legs had grown weak from malnutrition and the fact that she hadn't put any weight on her legs in over 2 weeks although now thanks to Figueroa's stingy ass there wasn't too much weight to put on them.

After many mishaps they just decided on using a wheel chair for Piper. Pornstache had already departed to take Pennsatucky to the court while Bennett stayed behind with Caputo since the two couldn't be transported together.

The doctor came running in with blood tests and requested for an very quick ct scan before they left, they were in no danger of being late and Piper was finally being offered some kind of medical treatment so they accepted, it was not to be brought up by anyone since this would be off the books without Fig signing for it. The hushed tones and concerned looks weren't helping Pipers nerves, at all.

"Just tell me what the hell is wrong with me" she ordered.

"You can't have kids" one of the assisting doctors blurted then got smacked upside the head and got sent out.

"I'm sorry about him ma'am he's… new, you see what happened was during you fight you were stabbed many times you see Ms. Doggett severed your fallopian tubes" he waited a moment but Pipers expression never changed "um your fallopian tubes are what" she cut him off.

"Um no offense sir but I know what my fallopian tubes do, did" she corrected.

"Oh its fine ma'am do you need some time, I can arrange for a shower" the doctor said concerned.

"No sir I'm fine I wasn't planning on having children… um I'm a lesbian I guess" She responded.

"You guess" the doctor asked plopping down next to her.

"Well I mean no, I fell in love with this amazing woman she's just I mean amazing in every way, well except that she worked for an international drug cartel I guess but I mean people look over that an ex criminal may really be a good person who just had to make a decision and she did" Piper said quietly.

"Yeah I understand I know there's nothing being sorry can actually change but I am, you know sorry, for everything"

Before they left the doctor allowed her to shower and changed her dressings. When they left Morello wasn't the one driving (… or Alex sorry hehe ;)_). It should have taken the group about 25 minutes to get there but with Healy driving they ended up late.

"Do you solemnly affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under pains and penalties of perjury"

"I erm yes" Piper replied. She had chosen to use the modified version of the oath for irreligious people to piss of Doggett and from the look she was giving the blond told her it was working.

 **(I'm just guessing on the date since it was near Christmas I think)**

"Ms. Chapman Can you recall the events that took place the night of December 23" The Lawyer asked. His hair was a dark chestnut color and his suit looked freshly pressed. He was short and his voice was… strange it was very high pitched but he spoke with such a condescending tone it was hard to take him seriously. And that's not even taking into account that he was wearing black pants with brown shoes.

"Um yes sir" she replied after a little hesitation, clearing her throat she continued "I was at the Christmas show and I was"- she got cut off by the man.

"So she does remember, hrm I see she can remember but the injuries that have been inflicted Ms. Doggett could have prevented her from ever being able to remember that dreadful night that almost ended the life of the savior of the unborn" Tiffany's Lawyer chanted earning a few desperate Amen's. He continued asking questions cutting her off every time to praise they're hero it was like he was a pastor having a service. Except he was basically praising a psychopath.

"Ha the savior of the unborn you say" Piper laughed felling a deep pain in her heart and a tear sliding down her face but her expression stayed the same.

"Yes Ms. Chapman the woman you attacked is a hero saving the lives of babies all the time with her courageous actions and her support to all those who call upon her"

"Sir may I speak without interruption for one moment so you may hear my experience with your humble hero" She asked forming a plan to cut Doggett down.

"Yes speak of your salvation"

"Okay Mr. Colman I used to be a lesbian, well more towards Bi but still I had a sexual involvement with a woman and in case you can't tell I myself am a woman, but I chose to go back to my fiancé who I had wronged so badly but had chosen to forgive me and allow me to change for the better, but you see your hero was dead set on ending my life. I stated that I believed in science and refused a baptism she was trying to give me and instead of accepting me for the changed person I was and trying to support me and help me like the Tiffany Doggett you know she attempted to kill me twice, the first in the bathroom with a razor blade attached to a toothbrush the second outside cornered with a wooden cross sharpened into a shank telling me it was God's will that I die and that I wasn't worthy of anyone's love, in the process of her attack she severed my fallopian tubes enabling me to ever have children with my fiancé and I would also like to ask if anyone checked the camera outside of the prison it's angled at the door it should be easy to see how Mr. Healy didn't intervene after h e clearly saw what happened" When piper finished there were still tears rolling down her face but her voice never wavered, her cold hard stare never softened.

"Your honor I'm done with the witness" Mr. Coleman said breaking the silence that had settled. Pennsatucky's voice soon followed.

"She's a lyin Mr. Coleman that demon up there isn't worthy, her children would have been a disgrace to the world" She screamed madly straining against her restraints.

"Did you just call her a lion" the Lawyer asked confused.

"Get her out of here" the judge requested, "I believe that there should and will be a punishment for Piper Chapman, I order 3 additional years to her sentence and 6 months in a solitary housing unit for going to overly extreme measures in self defense, Joe I can be assured that you will look at the tape and make appropriate arrangements" The man said, Caputo nodded. "Case dismissed".

With a bang of a gavel Piper was thrown into the SHU. _'six months, six months of this and I don't even know what happened to Doggett for all I know she wasn't charged with anything'_ the ride to SHU was quiet and with Bell driving they got there a little sooner than she would have preferred .

"What about like my um injuries I don't really want to die in here" Piper said coldly once they reached her cell.

"You'll be fine they were just trying to get money by keeping you there longer, just don't you know trust the food, that'll kill you faster than anything" Bell replied with one last half hearted smile before gently closing the door and looking back at Chapman apologetically before walking away slowly.

"You think she'll make it" O'Neil asked

"My twenty's on 2 months before she starts the scratching and 3 until the screaming" she replied sadly.

Back in her cell Piper wasn't crying as you'd expect her too, I mean she's a wimp, a coward and she just got assigned 6 _months_ in SHU and an extra 3 years to her sentence but no, she wasn't crying back at her cell. She was punching. The wall to be exact, she had pulled up the mattress and placed it against the wall and started punching, she started a steady rhythm, right, right, left, right, left, uppercut. She kept punching all night, over and over again, her hands had started bleeding a while ago, but she kept punching, her arms had giving out a long time ago, but she kept punching, her spirit gave out a long time ago, but she kept punching. All she was anymore was a shell, which kept punching.

 **Litchfield  
** "Hey Mr. Healy where's everyone been today" Leanne asked

"We had trial today for your friend I'm afraid she's been sent to the psychiatric housing" he replied leaning down and whispering urgently in her ears "but you guys have to keep her legacy alive, finish what she started you know, I'm not going to be here but I know you know what's right fight for what you believe, just don't let the guards catch you" he said before walking out of Litchfield for good.

"Hey Mr. Bennett where's Healy going, why are you in his office" Angie asked.

"He is gone, for good and um I'm his temporary replacement and have no idea at all what I'm doing so if you have a problem try taking it up with God first you know" Bennett said nervously.

At sound of this Nicky who had been hiding ran off to tell Vause the good news.

"Hey Vause Healy's out" she announced breathlessly in the suburbs.

"What d' you mean Healy's _out_ " Lorna asked

"I mean he is gone I guess he got fired they had a trial today and now he's out" she replied.

Vause snapped awake at the mention of a trial "Wait you mean so there's a chance she's alive"

"I don't know but if there was a trial there shouldn't be much to hide we could go ask Bennett" Nicky suggested.

They ran, well walked after Pornstache yelled at them to Bennett's new office. "Sir I heard there was a trial today I was wondering if it had anything to do with Piper Chapman" Lorna said hopefully.

"Look ladies I'm sorry ladies but Chapman"

He hesitated for a minute considering on if he should tell them about the trial they were some of her closest friends.

"She's gone the trial had nothing to do with her" But that didn't mean he couldn't tell them something even if it wasn't the whole truth they deserved to know about what Healy did.

"That trial the officers were at today was for Mr. Healy, you see when you friend was being attacked" he started before getting interrupted.

"Wait attacked not murdered so she's alive" Nicky jumped

"Sorry I just prefer not to call it that it just doesn't sound right since she didn't technically die until they were about halfway to the hospital, when you friend was about to be murdered Mr. Healy walked outside, he saw everything going on your bleeding friend the maniac killer and he just walked back in after many desperate attempts to get him to help her from Chapman so He was fired he will be faced with charges if the Chapman family chooses to, well you know charge him" Bennett said.

"Can I have Carol Chapman added to my phone list then" Vause asked quietly.

"I'm Sorry Vause you can't have any interactions with the family" Bennett replied gently.

 _'Shit, shit, fucking shit! How she dead, that bastard bible banger why did she have to kill her Damnit she can't be gone she wasn't even a lesbian she chose Larry'_ Visibly shuddering at his name even just in her head worried Nicky and Lorna who had no clue what was wrong with the raven haired girl. It was like she just broke down inside, for good, she was officially broken and the only girl who could fix it was supposedly dead. So they just walked back to the cubes.

"Hey Vause, Alex Honey listen, it's not okay, you're not going to be fine she's gone there's nothing that can change that it's gonna hurt for a long, long time you're gonna feel like you're dying inside or that you're already dead but you gotta be strong sweetie you have to make it so that you can tell Carol about her baby girl tell her how much you loved her be strong for them they lost they little girl no parents should have to bury their baby so be strong for them, be strong for us so that we can see our baby walk out of here someday to a new life and be strong for here Alex, you gotta be strong for her" Lorna cooed lovingly.

"Lorna I never got to say good bye, the last thoughts she had of me were me with Nicky's hand down my pants, Larry never got to say good bye, she died alone without anyone there for her, I let her die alone I never said a word to her I just held her there I can still feel her blood on my skin and now she's dead Lorna she's gone and there's nothing I can do about it, I left her to die" Alex cried.

"No hun you were there you found her you saved her from dying alone" Red said sitting next to the girls and taking Alex into her arms. The feeling made Alex's heart wrench. So many times she had held Piper the same way.

"So she's… really gone" Poussey whispered walking into the cube getting a few sad glances that told her everything she needed to know. Ignoring some uneasy looks she walked over to the broken girl and gently took her from Red nodding slowly at the unsure look from Red.

"Hey, yo um Vause c'mon we got somthin to show you, then you can go back to being devastated and everything" Poussey said quietly walking Alex outside the dorms where the rest of the ghetto were waiting along with the Latino's, and even the elderly and others. They all walked outside slowly to where Piper was attacked and sitting there in a nest of orange peels and blood stained snow clucking away in all it's glory was… ** _The chicken_**.

 **Okay so another story has the same thing with Piper not being able to bear child but I am in no way trying to copy them or take away from that story I was actually stealing it from the movie Noah but idk what actually happened so I just severed her tubes bc I've been watching too much Grey's anatomy plz review.**

 **Stay Awesome Bp.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a really short chapter kinda aggravated, i know where i want the story to go i'm just having trouble finding the words to get it there.**

 **IMPORTANT: I would really apreciate if some of you could take maybe 30 seconds to let me know in a review if you want Piper to get all tough and shit and go start beating up on some guards, her time would get extended but it wouldn't affect how many chapters until Alex and Piper are reunited it would just make it even more dramatic and stuff. To keep things short a simple yes for Piper to get all badass and stuff or a No for...no thank you for your time and i really do appreciate all of the reviews i have been receiving they really do mean a lot. especially Vausemaniac and deathlyhallow0 for your multiple reviews. Bp**

 **Vausemainic- you wanted to know why bennett was lying bc usually he's the good guy. Well i don't really mean for him to be bad, he was trying to give them some type of information to go on but is kind of stupid which will get him in trouble later as a result of my too lazyness to write in Daya getting pregnant. I hope that clears things up somewhat. Bp**

"Why are you showing me a chicken" Alex asked coldly.

"Don't be silly you arrogant fool it isn't just a chicken it's _**the chicken**_ _"_ Red chastised excitedly.

"Okay why are you showing me **_the chicken_** "

"Well it was Piper who started the whole chicken obsession and now it's just sitting there, where she died, I thought since we didn't really do nothing yet for like a memorial we could like eat the chicken for her, kinda like finally accepting like she dead for some closure… and I mean you know we get some chicken" Poussey explained "I mean it's not much I know it sounds kind of stupid but"

Alex cut her off before she could explain anymore "No it's not stupid… It's actually really thoughtful and like amazing and all that stuff" she sniffled.

"But we got one problem, how one chicken gon feed all of us" Gloria asked with a hand on her hip.

"Well it was us that found the damn thang" Cindy remarked.

"And y'all ain't even know piper so I don't know what chu doin over here anyways" Poussey added.

"Whateva I don't see what all the fuss is about over some white chick c'mon girls les get outa here" Gloria said walking out dejectedly.

"So what are we going to do with it" Lorna asked.

"We are going to kill it and eat it and absorb all of it's amazing smarter than all the other chickens powers" Nicky joked in her best Russian accent earning a few chuckles and a glare from Red "and were going to have closure then let go of the stupid white bitch who screwed you over twice might I add" she continued looking at Alex.

"You do realize you're white too dumb ass" Black Cindy noted.

"Whatever let's just eat the damn chicken with its stupid old Russian lady powers" Alex said in her usual deep raspy voice along with a smile that never really went passed her lips.

After a small chase Watson was able to grab the chicken then handed it over to Red to take care of the killing it part but surprisingly enough Alex actually stepped in and took the chicken swiftly breaking it's next then handing it over to Red **(AN I have no clue how they would actually kill a chicken or anything I just wanted to make Alex look bad ass and stuff)**

"Since when did you know how to kill chickens "The Russian lady asked?

"You'd be surprised at the things I've learned" Alex smirked before walking back inside with the others.

No one bothered to follow Alex when she walked out of the suburbs about an hour later, knowing she needed some space. She walked to the library but when she saw the amount of people she headed over to the chapel, where she and Piper had shared some of their most 'intimate' moments then sat down behind the podium thingy that she **(I)** didn't know the name of and began to jot down a letter which what had supposed to have been a quick way of really just letting go of her and saying good bye turned very emotional with silent tears flowing down her face.

 _Dear Piper  
your friends in the ghetto really are something you know. They thought of some weird oddly thoughtful kind of memorial thing. The chicken like you know like "_ _ **The chicken"**_ _it was just sitting there right where you were bleeding out in my arms, Red's going to cook it and were all going to sit down and eat and stuff kind of just savoring your memory one last time In the form of some all powerful chicken .Everyone keeps saying to just let it go and move on, I think it's starting to get pathetic how much I'm grieving over you, the woman who had screwed me over multiple times even though I know I had it coming with you leaving the first time but dear God you always have had the worst timing. I don't know how I'll be able to live without you .Everyone else thinks I just need time and I'll bounce back and it'll be just like normal, but to be honest pipes I don't even know what normal is anymore. I just got the news that you are officially actually dead and I'm already dying without you and I_ _ **Hate**_ _the fact that you can make me feel this way after being gone for eight God damned years straight! And then picking fucking LARRY over me! And I STILL fucking Love you Piper. I love you and I fucking hate you!_

 _Love always your Al._

 _'Damn her, damn her with her stupid manipulative narcissistic ways, God why does every time something happens to her it feels like it's all my fault like I didn't do something but really she was the one who was being stupid, but it was never stupid enough to get herself killed, DAMN HER'_

Alex's thoughts were interrupted by the chapel door's being quickly opened then slipped through by who she guessed was Nicky and Lorna, and of course she was right, by the time they had gotten to the stage Lorna was half naked and in the process of trying to take off Nicky's shirt.

Alex was trying to hold back laughter at the sight of her two friends _'ah to be young and in love'._ "Hey mind waiting for me to leave before you finish stripping" she called out.

Nicky only stuck out her tongue before flashing her tits while Lorna blushed furiously trying to cover herself up as much as she could.

Alex found herself alone in her bunk awaiting Red to tell everyone when the chicken is ready. Alone with her thoughts which wasn't necessarily her best option at the moment since they mostly consisted darkly of a certain thought dead blonde she sighed once more deciding to pick up a book to occupy her time.

After eating some of the most extraordinary, mouth watering, enticing, there weren't enough adjectives in the word to describe the taste of that chicken, either way after eating that amazing chicken Alex was feeling oddly at peace with herself, but would rather bunk up with Janae and deal with her early work out routine than admit that the chicken had some weird powers but she did smile for once that day which said it all and more to Red. Now she could leave Tasha or Taystee as they call her to deal with Warren, who was a chicken of her own.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm back! Sorry it took so long to update I was out of town. For the people who were saying that they didn't want Piper to have extra time in prison... well she will be going back to court and getting her 3 year addition reduced but this is a story about Piper in prison so... sorry. I have like a little hiding easter egg thingy it's the tittle of a song if you find it you get a sneak peak of the next chapter.**

 **Happy reading.**

It had been over a month since news of Pipers 'death' if anyone was still grieving they just needed to get laid. Alex was left alone if there was something wrong with her no one noticed. She still wrote her letters to Piper, never to be given a second glance. She would put on a brave face so no one would think anything of her late nights in the chapel but Nicky knew, Nicky always knew.

"Ay Vause" Nicky cried out dragging Alex into a state of consciousness.

"What the hell do you want" Alex yelled face down through her pillow.

"Oh what _I_ want"-

"No Nicky you know what I mean why are you waking me up its Sunday I always sleep on Sundays" Alex grunted cutting the bushy haired woman off.

"You've got a visitor"

"Bull shit, I didn't put anyone on my list" Alex complained.

"Go and see for yourself I aint shittin ya they just called your name" Nicky cried.

"Ugh I swear as soon as I find out who's responsible for making me get up" Alex grumbled out empty threats as she dragged herself out of bed and patted down her hair before walking out to the visitors room.

Walking through the entryway to the visitation room an unfamiliar man with fuzzy hair, a big nose, _'and a horrible sweater'_ Alex thought waved her over.

"Who are you and how the _hell_ did you get on my visitors list" Alex demanded rather loudly getting C.O Bennett's attention from across the room.

"Listen up I'll be the one asking questions here Alex" the man replied spitting her name out disgustedly "Wow you're tall" he added before sitting down.

"Yeah I've been told" Alex commented before doing the same.

"Now listen I know Piper hasn't come around about us getting married sooner rather than later but I want you to stay the fuck away from her until she does I know she'll come around she always does" The man ordered.

"Oh you must be Harry the bring Jew with obviously horrible sweater choices" Alex replied blandly sizing him up.

"Wha- no it's Larry… didn't you hear me I said stay away from piper" Larry repeated getting frustrated while a certain guard was getting more and more nervous by the second.

"Oh they didn't tell you" Alex chuckled coldly earning a confused look from the man "Piper's _dead_ you dumbass" Alex stated.

"Bullshit no she's not someone would have told me, what about a funeral huh there hasn't been a funeral"

"Listen Barry I watched her die, she got loaded up into an ambulance but never made it to the hospital" she retaliated before getting up and walking away leaving behind a devastated Larry and a scared Bennett.

Halfway across the room she could hear weak half sobs coming from behind her when something clicked and she stopped dead in her tracks. _'She hadn't come around on deciding whether to marry him or not, then why the hell was she coming into my dorm'_

Alex turned right back around and sat down again in front of a pathetic Larry.

"What do you mean she's dead" he cried out with his shoulders shaking.

"Listen up I'll be the one asking questions here" Alex replied harshly not getting much of a reaction.

"When you said she hadn't come around yet what did you mean I thought she chose you"

"She had called me but Polly was the one who picked up the phone and she found out that Polly and I had been together and then she had said that she was just calling to say that she had taken her earlier response back…" he sputtered rambling on "she said that she couldn't do it again she couldn't hurt you again that, that she couldn't marry me ever"

"Okay so first you go and cheat on her with her best friend while she's in _Prison_ and now you coming here and telling _me_ to stay away from her, what the hell is wrong with you" Alex spat

"What the hell is wrong with _me_ what the hell is wrong with _you_ she's dead God Damnit, when did she die, was, was it a quick death you know did she go in peace um was she on a good page with everybody" he rambled pointlessly.

"She died over a month ago 2 days before Christmas after she was violently attacked by psychotic meth head, she was stabbed so many times I couldn't even tell where the blood was coming from as I was holding her lifeless body, she died bleeding out in an ambulance fighting for her life, she was alone and scared and lonely that is how she died Mr. Bloom" when Alex finished her story there were silent tears falling from her eyes and over half the visitation room was staring at her.

"But wasn't there guards somebody should have been there" he protested

"Oh yes there were guards" now she was talking to the whole room "a Mr. Healy to be specific, Mr. Healy witnessed the attack himself he walked outside then walked right back in after seeing what was going on he could have done something" Now Caputo was there and several other guards started trying to drag her back "But he didn't and you know why" right before she was dragged out of the room she fought back bursting back in "Because you see Mr. Healy is a homophobic bastard and Piper Chapman fell in love with a woman"

"Send her to SHU" Caputo barked dragging her out of the room leaving many protesting visitors behind. The inmates were outraged at the new information of Mr. Healy's place in the incident that cost the life of a fellow inmate. No one liked Mr. Healy, well except Larry at one point, but now if he ever came back he would be alone in a sea of hatred.

"What the hell you can't send me to SHU" Alex cried still fighting against the guards.

"Didn't you hear me? I said send her to SHU cuff her get Morello and get her outta here!"

"Yes sir" Bennett snapped cuffing Alex who had let up her fight.

"No not you Bennett I want you to come with me and tell me all about Piper Chapman's _death_ and why now all of our inmates and their families now know about Healy"

When O' Neil returned with Lorna who was just as confused as O' Neil they all headed off to the van.

"Vause, what happened sweetie" Lorna questioned in the van.

"I um, just made a scene that's all"

"Made a scene oh honey c 'mon is thin still about Piper"

" No it was fucking Larry, the fucking Fiancé came to visit me telling me to stay away from Piper, as if I could get anywhere near her"

O' Neil had to try and hold back a small chuckle at the irony of the situation that when unnoticed by Alex ho was still venting.

"What's up with you Mr. Giggle pants?" Lorna jabbed.

"Well you'd be surprised at just how close you can get to a dead woman these days" he sighed.

"Oh and you know what else he said" Alex butted in

"Huh"

"He said that Piper had been calling to tell him that she couldn't marry him and then caught him cheating on her with her best friend but that I still needed to stay away from her because she always came back, it worries me a little bit, you know like what she would have been going back to, and you know what the worst part is" by now her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"No hun what was the worst part"

"He said that when she called and caught him and Polly, telling him that she couldn't marry him, she said she couldn't do it because she couldn't hurt me again, and then when she was coming back to me to tell me, Nicky had her hand down my pants "-

"OKAY we're here now" O 'Neil interrupted thoroughly disturbed hopping out the back to get Alex. When they were walking Alex could have sworn she heard Pipers voice coming from the cell behind her where a guard was crouched. _'Dear god I haven't even gotten to my cell and I'm already loosing it'_ she though

"Um how long will I be in here?"

"I'm not sure probably about a week, don't worry I'll try and make sure it's not long enough for you to starve"

"Wait what do you mean starve" Alex asked worriedly

"Oh, well um you'll see soon enough, just be glad you missed breakfast"

 _'Damnit all fucking Nicky's fault if she hadn't woke me up I'd still be in Litchfield… which is still bad but it's better than the damn SHU'_ Alex thought.

Now all alone in her cell she began to think about the woman's voice she heard it was a barely audible whisper "Me too" but It sounded so much like her, the thought of being so close to the one she had lost was almost unbearable.

She walked across the room to the vent on the wall that separated her cell from the next one over. Bending down she called out through the vent in hope if Piper was there she could hear her.

"Piper" nothing.

"Piper can you hear me" still not a sound.

"Piper are you in there please be in there please be alive" There was still no response. _'Damnit I'm already going crazy'_ she thought _'how am I supposed to last a whole week'_ and then the tray of food slid under the slot on the door.

"Oh Dear god I'm going to die"

 **Piper**

Cold. If I had to chose one word to describe this place it would be cold. All of the sleepless nights fighting the temptations of the pile of pills I foolishly snuck in here, surrounded by the cold nothingness, the people; cold, the food; cold, the thoughts that fill my head every day from which I have no escape; cold. Coldness and loneliness, darkness and fear they all come hand in hand with these claustrophobic dull grungy walls they surround you with. The sounds of madness emancipating from all around you

For about 2 months I've been able to stand it here. After a while you get used to the screaming. From the very night I got thrown into this grungy room trapped and alone to my thoughts. I've set up a routine, just so that I always have something to do. Not to let my mind wander off into darkness.

While it's still dark and mostly quiet other than some far off screams of those deranged by sleep I gather myself and push through the wonderful achy muscles that have plagued my body since I began my bodily augmentation. The pain at first was unbearable but now I don't know if I could survive without it. I say survive because there is no way one could think to live in solitary, forcefully separated from any type of interactions with another person closed off to the world in a concrete box with your days filled with working out until you collapse onto the floor in a pile of spasming muscles and sweat.

After dragging myself out of bed for about an hour until the lights come on I start on my continued assault of set punching patterns into the worn mattress material. By now my hands have grown rough and calloused it was the mattress's turn to become blistered and bloody. Although being a mattress I never really got to that level of satisfaction. When the lights do come to life with a dull buzz it takes about a half hour for all the guards to make their rounds and disperse the meals.

Breakfast these days consisted of flavorless goop and a piece of stale toast topped with the highest quality of mold. After forcing down as much as I can I usually have to wait another twenty minutes before any physical activities so all my hard work doesn't come rocketing back up. A lot of the time for those twenty minutes I just sit with my head against the mattress and stare. Not always at one particular thing sometimes I stare at the bland walls that have been stained odd colors over the years. Sometimes I like to just stare at the pale shiny scars that litter my hands and arms to remind myself of why I'm here and on the particular bad days sometimes I just stare at the long jagged scar across my lower abdomen that reminds me of how much I fucked up. Of how undeserving I am that I can't even bring another life into the world in risk I might fuck them up too. Or the long pinkish indentation stretched across my left side that remands me of how close I was to not having to deal with myself anymore.

Most days I just fill with as many hours of working out as I can seeking out the burning muscles and the soreness that comes with a long days work. Working out one section of my body until it's screaming in protest almost as loud as the ones outside the doors then I move on to the next of whatever exercises that I'm doing by now even with my skin hanging off my bones at odd angles and being able to count how many ribs I have through my shirt I've been able to gain some amount of muscle. It does get boring sometimes having nothing to fill your days with other than pushups and squats and by now it takes longer to get to the level of pain I search for. My second week here I found a small metal blade maybe 4 inches, very thin, very sharp it was attached to the side of the metal bunk frame and no one must have noticed it. Every time a thought of using it came across my mind I would push it down; what would mom think, what about Cal, what about Alex. Just because I was probably dead to her **(AN/ Lol get it** ** _dead_** **to her… no…okey ,_,)** doesn't mean I don't want to make things worse. What's worse than an ex girlfriend who's been cutting herself because you wouldn't take her back after you found out her fiancé was cheating on her with her best friend. So I've pushed all thoughts of it away but sometimes, just _sometimes_ it gets really hard to keep them away.

The thing about solitary is that you're alone absolutely and utterly alone. You're stuck not only behind the concrete walls that your authorities stick you behind, you're stuck behind the walls of confinement you create in your own head after hearing the sounds of madness that have surrounded me for the last 2 months I've been convinced that you cannot reply to anything you think you hear as soon as you break and allow yourself to fall into the crazed false reality in dementia that accompanies this place and give in to all the screaming that seems to emancipate from the walls, there's no going back from that. Sometimes the only thing that lets you know your real is pain, so when I pulled that small metal blade out and set in on my wrist I wasn't thinking about my Mom, who cares about her anyways or Cal, he would probably think it's cool if I came back with scars, and Alex, I don't deserve to think about her anyways.

I relished the feeling of the sharp metal slicing lightly into my skin, it was like an itch, a burning itch, and oh it burned so good.

I watched as a small amount of blood seeped from the cut but there wasn't very much. I heard the sound of plastic on concrete so turned around and walked over to the door and pulled the tray out.

"Looks good" I hummed looking out the slot meeting brown eyes with blue.

"Wow you really are crazy" she laughed nervously.

"Well actually at the moment I seem to be relatively sane…I think"

"Yeah I don't blame you, It's this place, I've only been working here a week and the constant screaming makes me wanna go loony"

"yeah I know what you mean, I've been here 2 months already and I mean every day you hope it gets better like maybe you'll get used to it but it doesn't I still wake up every day and have to remind myself of where I am, it gets draining you know" I sighed.

"Wow 2 months how long are you stuck in here for" she asked.

"Well I got stuck in here for 6 months because some crazy Jesus freak was trying to kill me and I ended up beating the shit out of her, they stuck me with like 2 or 3 more years because of it crazy man I swear, what they think is justice these days"

"Oh wow, I'll keep you in my prayers, I really do hope you make it out of here"

"Yeah me too" I whispered not trusting my voice.

When I reached my bunk I collapsed my eyes filling with tears that refused to fall then I heard it a small broken voice that sounded just like Alex.

"Piper" I crawled closer to the wall that the sound was coming from. It can't be her she can't be here.

"Piper can you hear me"

"Piper are you in there please be in there please be okay" I wanted so badly to call out to her. To tell her I was okay, that I was alive and that she would make it out of here, that _we_ would make it out of here. But I couldn't she couldn't be here I can't go back to her I can't hurt her again, I won't hurt her again.

BP


	6. Chapter 6

Well no one got the last one the hidden song was called the sound of madness by Shinedown an amazing band that i for one love hehe. I have another set of lyrics by the same band and i will have the next chapter up fairly soon. If someone wants me to like have different song references just for shits and giggles to see who gets it you can Pm them to me, i'll probably know most rock ones, anything from the 60's to like mid 2000's happy reading :)

Vausmaniac should be fairly happy with this chapter

 **BP**

After A week in SHU Red's soggy eggs and stale toast seemed more like magical chicken children and golden crispy bread vessels of golden butter substance. By the second day I was dry heaving at the smell when the loaves of browned mold like substance were pushed under the door. It smelt as if they just dumped some expired pizza dough in a blender with mayonnaise and ketchup, and the taste wasn't far from the smell. So when I was lead into camp by Lorna and told I had missed dinner by a measly 14 minutes and had to wait until tomorrow to eat because all of my Commissary and visiting/phone call privileges had been revoked I just about lost it, but there was no way in hell I was going back to SHU _ever_ again.

"Well I mean if you really are that hungry you know there always a chapel for two on reservation" Nicky said after about 10 minutes of my complaints.

For once (well more like twice considering there was always the Christmas incident) I was actually considering taking her up on that offer. After the incident in SHU maybe I really do just need to get laid, and since I was back I _finally_ got to shave which was wonderful.

"Oh hush it Nicky she only just got back" Lorna chided slapping her on the shoulder.

"Well that's easy for you to say I haven't gotten any since you started 'tightening up' for Charley" Nicky exclaimed.

"That was 3 days ago" Lorna screeched getting up to walk away "And it's **Christopher** "

I laughed lowly and grabbed Nicky's hand she took it as a good sign, and followed me over to where Lorna was seething.

"Hey Lorna we could always make it a reservation for 3 I promise I'll be gentle, I wouldn't even need to go inside to make you come many, _many_ times" I whispered seductively chuckling inside when she audibly gasped.

"What happened to your whole I'm never going back to SHU rant in the van" she whisper yelled.

"Whatever I guess it'll only be me and Nicky" I sighed walking off to the Chapel with Nicky following close behind like a puppy. Leaving a wide eyed Lorna behind

There was only one way to describe what went down in that chapel (not only between me and Nicky but pretty much every other reasonably attractive girl I could get 30 seconds alone with to seduce); fucking pure unadulterated fucking. It was like taking candy from a baby well more like V cards from desperate scared sluts. I knew how to listen how to make someone feel like they were more than an inmate with benefits.

For about 7 months all I did was sleep around with girls, honing my skills to the best they've ever been, I even stopped writing my letters to Piper, she was dead I had finally gotten that through my head, and I had four more years left on my sentence I had to make somewhat bearable. Nicky was a regular and I did finally get that reservation for 3 and after showing Nicky how not to try and climb into someone's womb every time they fucked there were a couple of threesomes (not always Lorna) and sometimes did end up having to share the chapel with Nicky, I got sent to SHU about 6 more times within those months, once they caught me and some random chick in a closet but it was Mendez and he was just bringing in some other chick so he just gave me a couple of days for lesbian activity although he did offer no time if we let him watch but no matter how many people I fuck I would never do anything like. The second time it was because I had a shit ton of shots for being late for work (which was also because of some amount of girls I never bothered to learn the name of) the rest I can't even remember why.

Once I asked about the inmate in the cell next to the one I was always awoken by the sound of something being pummeled at some ungodly hour. Sometimes I heard humming which was always unnerving, even more so when I recognized the tune; the house of the rising sin by The Animals. It was something Piper always seemed to have on when she worked out or anything which I found odd because one it wasn't anything like what normal people would work out to and two she was born like at least 20 years after it came out. Odd woman she was. Every time I asked I got the same reply. They didn't even say anything, just shaking their heads sadly. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know how long she had been in there.

Once Red came up to me and asked if I was alright, well more like ordered me to tell her what the fuck was wrong with me but I just told her I was fine. Maybe it's me I'm just crazy, maybe I like that I'm not alright.

"Hey Vause" Nicky called pulling me from my reflections of my last seven months.

"Hmm" I hummed pulling my head up noticing Lorna behind her.

"I think we got some fresh meat" Nicky said rubbing her hands together getting a sad glance from Lorna that no one else would have noticed.

"Go get her tiger I'm not in the mood" I said. She ran off excitedly.

"So who is this new chick" I asked Lorna pointing to empty bed. Leanne asked to be moved after I started seeping around since a lot of the girls would come up to my bunk to ask for a quickie.

"Oh well I asked the guards about her before I picked her up all they said was that she had been in Solitary for like 9 months, it was supposed to be six but about four months in she started providing somewhat violent resistance to the guards when they came to cuff her for the showers, eventually they just stopped dropping by there until today thank God, she showered like right before I picked her up so she wouldn't stink to bad" Lorna explained as I listened intently. Apparently she was extremely antisocial. When Lorna asked for her name she just stared off outside not even bothering to acknowledge either her or the guards presence and she was humming.

"Holy shit that's the one I was stuck next to when I was in SHU was it that house of the rising sun song from like the sixties" I asked.

"How should know I don't listen to sixties music why don't you sing it or something"

"Haha funny no I don't sing" I said my voice voided of emotion trying to think of how I was going to show her what I was talking about "Hey Boo" I called out she wasn't afraid of singing.

"No I don't wasn't to fuck Vause" she yelled back across the room.

"No I was wondering if you knew this song it's like back from the sixties by The Animals it's called the house of the rising sun" I asked.

"Wait why are you talking about sixties music" Yoga Jones asked walking past my cube.

"Well do you know the song" I asked.

"Yeah I know the song I may be all calm and zen now but I rocked back in them good old days… oh listen to me I sound so old" she sighed.

"Oh I know this prison stuff can really wear you out" called Sister Ingalls coming over to Jones.

"CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET BACK TO THE SONG" Lorna cried.

"Well yes I do know that song but why is it relevant" Yoga Jones asked surprised at Morello's outburst.

"Can you just like sing the song or hum part of it please" I asked desperately. She did and Lorna started nodding.

"Yeah that was it that's the one that lady was hummin"

"Holy shit dude yeah that was her, creeped the shit out of me when she would wake up at like 3 in the morning and start punching her mattress, she would always be humming that song" I said getting an amused look from Lorna "No I mean it was creepy because like that's what Piper used to hum whenever she worked out" I explained.

"Yeah well she sure as hell worked out a lot that girl is ripped that's why Nicky was so excited about her I don't mean to be blunt but that girl is _fine_ like other than being pale as shit, well and the fact that she's probably fucked up in the head big time, well I mean and she really does look way to skinny like all she has is bones and muscles like even her skin looks paper thin like you can see her veins and shit"

"Hey maybe it's like a zombie Piper coming back for her blanket" Big Boo nagged.

"Are you ever going to get over that" I asked

"Nope"

Ugh. Us three chilled for about 20 minutes before Boo left and I finally asked if Lorna was okay.

"No Damnit I'm not alright" she cried.

"Hey come here kid what's wrong" I said.

"Christopher left me for some fat chick and then I went to go to Nicky you know but just as a friend" She assured "But she was in the Chapel fucking 2 other sluts and she didn't even notice me the next day"

"You and Christopher were never gonna work were you, you would never go to Nicky as a friend, you know she's more than that to you" I asked. And she just shook her head against my shoulder letting loose the tears she had been holding back for seven months while I held her rubbing circles on her back.

Nicky came running into the room with a bloody nose not 2 minutes later.

"Oh Shit what the hell happened" I asked.

"That blond bitch fucking punched me when I tried to grab her ass" she said in a weird nasally voice "I think she broke it Damnit"

"Here let me see I know how to reset broken noses" I lied getting up leaving a sniffling Lorna who couldn't look Nicky in the eyes. I told Nicky to lay down so I could look at her nose better. It was clearly unaligned, you could see the bone poking out so I just snapped it back to the middle 'ish' of her nose rather roughly but it seemed to fit with the other piece so she had that going for her.

"Ow what the hell Vause there's no way you know how to set a nose what the hell was that for" she whisper yelled at me dragging me to the bathroom.

"Lorna you fucking ass! How did you not know about Christopher cheating after you two started fucking again, She could be marrying Jones and you wouldn't give two shit's, how can you not see how hurt she is every time you go slut chasing can't you see she loves"-

In the idle of my rant I met a pair of such dull and broken blue eyes they almost seemed grey. My heart stopped and I staggered catching myself on the stall door.

"Piper" I whispered, my voice rough and full of fear.

"Why the hell would she be in love with piper you dumb ass" Nicky asked not catching my stumble which I was grateful for.

"No she's in love with you" I said shakily before sprinting out of the bathroom. I got yelled at by Mendez but I didn't care he could send me to SHU anything to get me away from that woman, her e yes looked so broken, but I would know them anywhere. I reached the chapel then dropped to my knees' in front of the altar. I was breathing so heavily and my heart was thumping so loud I didn't hear Leanne and Angie sneaking up behind me but I sure as hell felt the hard kick to my ribs.

I toppled over onto my side crying out in pain then was gasping for breath when they knocked the breath out of me. I could hear loud noises but I couldn't define the words they were saying. Although they probably were yelling stuff about lesbianing in the chapel I heard the doors be kicked open then shocked screams. The last thing I remember is Leanne screaming something about some devil lesbian necromancer shit then they kicked my hard in the back of the head then I was out.

 **Piper  
** I saw Alex running out of the bathroom so I went to follow her to see if she was okay after she almost fell. I stayed back when I saw the bible bangers walking towards the chapel but when I heard Alex's screams I ran in bursting through the doors like a bullet. Leanne was yelling something about a devil lesbian necromancer then kicked Alex in the back of the head and she fell limp.

I ran over to Leanne then drop kicked her ass when she tried to run out. Angie turned back to try and pick up Leanne but I stepped over and thrusted my elbow down on her back and she fell on top of Leanne who was just trying to get back up Leanne stuck her foot out tripping me when I started to run over to Alex.

I was glad my bones weren't as fragile as they would have been before I started doing those drop pushups (Falling to the ground from a standing position dong a pushup then a squat then repeating.)

When I stood back up Leanne had her hands raised in a defensive position, as soon as I was up she swung, I ducked and head the doors opening but I didn't care if I got sent to SHU again as long as they helped Alex. She went to kick me but I caught her leg and twisted It making her fall over but then Angie came back out from wherever she was and tried to put me in a head lock for Leanne to get at my face but when she stepped up I sent my boot clad foot at her crotch then my elbow into Angie's nose who collapsed. While Leanne was doubled over I brought my knee up to her face then slammed my elbow to her back which was the last blow before she fell on the ground with Angie.

When I ran over to Alex I heard other footsteps coming my way but I didn't dare look up, I saw the way her ribs were angled and knew they were broken but not too bad, they would hurt like a bitch but she would live.

I set her rib back in place with practiced ease, then popped her dislocated shoulder back into place which finally dragged her back into consciousness then looked up to see a very surprised Poussey and Taystee but I had to time to explain.

"Give me you sweat shirt" I demanded my words kind of slurred from not using my vocal chords for anything but humming.

"The hell you mean give you my sweat shirt" Poussey yelled "Who the hell you is anyways"

"Damnit P give her the shirt that's Alex" Taystee said reaching over and pulling the shirt off a very riled up Poussey who was left in her whit prison edition tank top.

I folded up the sweat shirt before wrapping it around Alex's good shoulder placing her other arm into the pocket.

"What the hell" Alex groaned painfully she tried to sit up before jerking back in pain at the state her ribs were in. "Ah FUCKIN A" she yelled.

"Here take this shit" I said pulling out a pill from a pocket I made from napkins in my bra to sneak the pills in.

She complied swallowing it with minimum trouble without water.

"Who are you really tho" Taystee asked. What the hell was she talking about, most people either looked like they had seen a ghost or that I was a newbie and tried to show me around then they usually though I was crazy, which by now I probably am.

"It's me" I paused when they looked confused.

"What kind of name is me" Poussey asked.

"Says you miss pussy" Taystee jabbed.

"No I mean it's me… its Piper" the still looked confused, but now slightly scared too "You know Piper Chapman"

"Fuck" Alex groaned.

"What why the hell are you looking at me like that" I asked.

"No..No it can't be, you can't be" Poussey stammered.

"Well why the hell not"

"Because you're dead" Alex whispered.

 **I just couldn't wait to get them back together. So we got badass Piper who is ripped but where is Pennsatucky? Also just FYI i'm not just going to skip like all of Piper's SHU time there will be like flash backs and fucked up dream shit because i mean she is fucked up she just knows how to control what parts of her she lets see. Advantage of being a wasp knowing how to keep up reputation. (not trying to offend anyone or anything)**


	7. Chapter 7

"Once Red came up to me and asked if I was alright, well more like ordered me to tell her what the fuck was wrong with me but I just told her I was fine. _Maybe it's me I'm just crazy, maybe I like that I'm not alright."_ The song was Not Alright also by Shinedown. I got another Chapter up not my best not my worst has one of those Crazy Piper flashbacks i've been talking about this one is a little longer because I plan on starting that other fic that people may or maynot have heard about that is a TayLaur fic I planned on posting the first Chapter yesterday but i have yet to start on it because that is just how i am my apologies. ANy and all ideas are appreciated and i would like to give a shout out to Reven207 and Solitare100 Now on with the story...

So here I am a dead woman walking around Litchfield. I've been sitting at the ghetto table since I beat up the bible bangers. After Alex told me about how I was dead I kinda got out of there as fast as I could without it being noticeable that I was trying to get out of there. So I was right I was literally dead to her. Fucking Larry and Polly and all that fucked up shit. She's pregnant for Pete's sake (no pun intended) and married. I knew I should have left him a long time ago but I couldn't as soon as I started to think about leaving her knew, I don't know how or why, he just knew and then he would start acting all sweet and wonderful and start apologizing for all of his shit which I should have never forgave him for stuff like that you can't just let go when they say they're sorry when you know you're just digging yourself a deeper hole.

Larry was fucking _is_ fucking dead to me, and now I know how it feels to not be able to confide in the one you loved and trusted for so long to have them give you the cold shoulder or to look scared every time you see them, now I know how that feels and he deserves every bit of it!

"Yo who's this Taylor Swift looking fucker doing over here" Janae said as she sat down.

"Wow when Alex said I was dead she really did mean dead" I said looking over at Taystee who just nodded.

"What are you talkin about" Black Cindy asked sitting down at the end of the table across from me "And who's the white bitch"

"Yo it's Piper that bitch the Jesus freak was after she ain't dead" Poussey explained.

"Oh shit you da one that broke that bitches hoochi" Cindy clapped. I kept a hard expression but I'm sure I was blushing.

"Oh shit where the hell you been" Janae asked suddenly getting the whole table intersested.

"SHU" I said.

Before anyone could respond Suzanne walked up to the table looking for a seat.

"Who is this" she asked.

"It's Piper, I guess you were right Crazy eyes she ain't dead after all" Taystee sighed.

"I KNEW IT, I KNEW SHE WASN'T DEAD I KNEW IT" She yelled throwing her tray down.

"Hey calm her down" A guars yelled.

"You ALL tried to TRICK ME but I KNEW she wasn't dead" She continued "You all wanted to TAKE her from me you wanted MY dandelion but"- before she could go on anymore. I stood up quickly and jabbed her pressure point hard causing her to fall to the ground. I looked over to the guards but they just nodded so I picked her up laying one arm over my shoulder looking for someone else to help. Surprisingly enough it was Janae that stood up.

"C'mon let's get her to her bunk" she said grabbing her other arm.

The walk to Crazy eyes bunk was wonderfully painful on my muscles. But after we sat her down on her bunk Janae gestured me to sit down on the other end of the bunk she was currently situated on.

"You were in SHU?" She asked. I just nodded to confirm her question. "How long were you in there" she asked very quietly.

"You know what" I said looking up, she just looked at me questioningly but there was an odd look if understanding in her eyes. You can tell just by one look, she had been to SHU she had seen some fucked up shit, she had been through some fucked up shit and more than likely considering the place that she was in right now, she had done some fucked up shit. "I really don't know" I whispered.

"I think I was supposed to be in there for 6 months but I mean there's no such thing as time when you're in SHU"

She just looked at me sympathetically which made my stomach curl. "I don't need your or anyone's else's sympathy or pity. It's fucked up in there everyone knows but I made it out and as far as I can tell I'm still mentally sane"

"You know I thought the same thing when I got out, I was in there less than half of how long you were even supposed to be in there but when people are offering help and sympathy you're going to wish people understood what it was like in there, surviving in there is not how you're supposed to live it's not normal to _crave_ the pain just to know that your real that you're not dreaming to know that you're not back in, in that place, when you start getting those dreams that you wake up screaming from in the middle of the night from people telling you to shut up, they don't have pity they don't have sympathy they just want you to be normal again so things can go back to the way they were, but that's a little hard to do when you don't know what normal is"

"Waking people up at night is the least of my worries" I said.

She just shrugged and we made our way back to the cafeteria. When we walked back in there were a lot of disbelieving stares directed in our direction a lot of eyes were filled with curiosity as we passed by.

"Why is everyone staring" I asked when I sat down only to find a couple of amused looks coming back at us from the table.

"You just knocked out Crazy eyes by poking her on the shoulder blade" Poussey said blatantly.

"Where the hell did you learn to do this shit, you beat the fuck out of Doggett lasted for like forever in SHU then went and beat the shit out of them bible bangers they got sent to SHU because the guards thought they had been fighting then you like fixed that glasses chick's ribs and shit what the hell can't you do" Taystee asked exasperated.

"Oh wait has that other fucky haired white chick come up to you to try and like seduce you and shit yet" Black Cindy asked.

"Yeah you mean Nicky" I laughed "I broke her nose" I said seriously causing the hole table to erupt in a chorus of 'DAYMNNNN's.

"Ha serves the bitch right" Taystee added.

After breakfast was over I headed back outside, since not many people were there because of work, I walked over to a more deserted area and started my work out. It was hot as hell outside and now days I wear long sleeves to cover up my scars. After starting with the initial inch and a half small cuts going across my arms and wrist I started to just drag the blade up my arm sometimes twisting and curling slicing lightly into my flesh, creating even more shiny white scars in intricate patterns.

There was one person I have been meaning to search out by the name Stella, I've heard from whatever gossip I can manage to get in on standing at the corners of the phone lines. She gives tattoos for pain pills. If I can manage to get my hands in a tattoo gun and some in I would love to fill in those blank spaces.

About half an hour before lunch I head inside to take a shower but immediately regret that decision when a certain raven haired beauty walks into the stall next to me. I lower my head slightly and try to make myself small so that she doesn't notice me but of course… she does.

"That first shave after solitary is always the best ay" she laughs trying to pick up small talk but I don't respond ""You know I have the record for longest time spent in SHU over time, so it pretty much means I'm the bad ass of the prison."

"Oh really because from what I've heard you're the slut of the prison always looking for a good time just anyone your able to get your hands- or rather mouth" I reply sharply.

"Oh feisty, wanna test that theory out, I hear people around here saying you've gotten some new muscles, and I'd love to get a look at what your hiding under them long sleve shirts and baggy prison bottoms.

 _'_ _pale scars littering my body…all for you'_ I thought. "Well if you're anything like the Alex I knew you're doing fine with business now so you won't need my baggy pants to add to the collection" I replied. After a few moments of silence Alex spoke again. Why the hell won't she just leave me alone Damnit!

"I really don't see why they won't just let you use a razor in SHU it's not like we're going to go and kill ourselves or turn into some mental freak and start cutting ourselves.

I look down at my arms and the state they were in after all those months in SHU internally laughing at the irony. It makes it much easier to deal with myself knowing that I'm just some fucked up mental freak that ruins her chance to shave in Solitary or just another inmate she wants to add to her list.

After that encounter I made a conscious effort to avoid Alex. I think by now all of the suburbians know that I'm back, I haven't been assigned a bunk yet but Demarco's snoring machine isn't half as bad as the screams I was used to being awakened to.

I told Janae that screaming and waking people up in the middle of the night wouldn't be a problem but I often wake up shaking and coated in sweat, when I look at the open door I keep imagining some crazy woman to be trying to kill me I swear I've seen eyes looking at me through the food slot in my cell. I could only stare back into them night after night scared to turn around. I never found out if one of the inmates was sneaking out at night or if I really had gone psycho but I have awoken to the feeling of being watched.

I was in the breakfast line when I spotted the tattoo chick I had heard about. I quietly made my way over to her and sat down in front of her at a table only she was occupying.

"Your Stella right" I asked.

"Yeah let me guess you're here for a tat, you don't really look like the tattoo type"

"Bitch" I muttered "It's not just a Tattoo though, I have a decent stack of some heavy pain killers like they will put you out for hours I need to get my hands on a gun and some ink, can you help me out" She looked fairly interested now that I brought up the pills.

"I may have an extra one laying around somewhere and we can work out some kind of payment option for a continuous supply of ink, how many is decent" she asked in her sultry accent that was like pure sex to anyone's ears, not quite on an Alex level but she was sure as hell up there.

"How many do you need?"

"What kind of a dose do they give you?"

"These aren't prison authorized pills I smuggled them in from the hospital, how about I give you one just so you know how strong they are and you leave me alone with your tattoo gun that you may or may not have for… let's say half an hour"

"Fifteen minutes" she reasoned.

"20 they're strong, I doubt you'll be able to stay awake any longer than that anyways even with a high pill resistance level"

"Deal" she said sticking out her hand.

About 2 hours after Breakfast I sneak out into the chapel just as Alex was walking out followed by another woman who looked thoroughly fucked. I gave Stella the pill and she handed me the gun then we went our separate ways.

I sat down behind the altar and plugged in the gun when I felt the needle painfully piercing the untouched skin I lulled my head back then started concentrating on the different designs I was inking into the unscarred places on my skin. I was aiming for like flames or something like that but they ended up looking like tendrils so I went in behind them making them look kind of smokey .Twenty minutes later there was no Stella, I walked around back and hid the gun behind the maintenance shed then headed back inside. The scratchy material of my sweat shirt pulled down over the irritated skin. When I found her bunk my suspicions were enforced when she was face down on her bunk snoring

The rest of my day I hid on the top bunk while Demarco napped beneath me staring at my arm. How the new black in contrasted with the pale scratchy scars.

FLASHBACK may or may not contain triggers.

 _'_ _C'mon' dig a little deeper'_ I had been hearing voices lately, every time I cut. Just pushing me to cut a little deeper, just cross the line and let go succumb to the pain, always cheering me on every time I drew blood thencursing me every time I didn't finish myself off _'_ _c'mon piper do it for Alex do it so that you can't hurt her again make sure she never feels the pain you cause, make Larry proud show him you learned to love the pain, just dig a little deeper'_ I pulled the razor back and flung it across the room.

 _'_ _Damnit Piper I knew you couldn't do it you've always been a disappointment a disgrace to everyone you knew nobody loves you, you don't deserve anyone's'_ It sounded so much like my mother always telling me how I failed 'Yeah piper _no wonder Larry beats you! You deserve it'_

"No Alex no I left him I left him for you" I whispered, my voice rough and scratchy but the voices were gone, and I was alone. But wasn't I always alone?

FLASHBACK END.  
"Hey inmate" It was a guard calling me out of my trance, I quickly pulled my sleeve down over my arm but thankfully It was out of his view. "Dinner now" he called out.

When I crawled out of bed I noticed I had been sweating and I was a shaking mess so I quickly tried to cover my hands and started fidgeting with my the bottom of my shirt so it looked voluntary. After I grabbed my tray I walked over to where Stella was sitting.

"Okay 2 a week for the next two months drop them by the Chapel on Sundays that's when Alex sleeps in and the gun is yours, I get my ink pretty easily so one for every vile how much of that stuff do you have" She asked getting straight to business.

"A lot, also I get some pretty strong antidepressants that I've been cheeking so I can slip you some of those if there's anything else I need" I said.

"Well I have 2 different inks a white and a black the antidepressants for the black and the pills for the white"

I nodded then walked over to the ghetto table. "Yo what you doin talkin to the junkie" Janae asked.

"Getting rid of some pills I snuck in" I said in an emotionless tone.

"Damn chick how'd you do it stick em up your butt or somethin" Poussey asked in a whisper.

"No I found a razor under my bed in SHU and cut a slit in my bra and just slipped them in there" I replied. The razor part slipped over everyone's head but Janae who was looking at me questioningly.

"Damn bitch bad ass" Black Cindy said.

Throughout dinner I felt several pairs of eyes on me but I never turned around to see who was staring. Since the incident Crazy eyes has been sitting across the cafeteria where I couldn't watch her so it worried me sometimes that she might do something stupid.

When I walked into the hallway I could hear someone following me so I walked into the bathrooms where we could interact discreetly.

 **(AN/ just letting you know I don't know at all if this is true or possible this is me making Piper bad ass so…)**

As soon as we entered the bathroom a felt arm round my next pushing me to the wall. When they tried to get closer I pushed out my knee then swung connecting my right fist with someone's jaw, I could feel it pop out of place and I knew they would offer no further resistance. Fighting with a unhinged jaw hurt like hell when you were moving around or got hit again.

When I turned around it was Janae I saw on the ground.

"Oh shit" I murmured "Here let me help."

I bent down popping her jaw back in place and helping her up.

"Oh man what the hell" she gasped moving her jaw around grimacing "Where did you learn to do shit like that ain't you a WASP"

"Shut up, why the hell were you following me" I asked.

She raised her hand from a moment wiping her face and when I though she was putting it back down she grabbed for my sleeve pulling it up before I had the chance to react.

"Fuck"

"Damnit Chapman what the fuck was you thinking" She yelled.

"Which part the tats or the scars" I asked knowing I couldn't hold back anymore.

"First I want to know about the cutting" she said.

"Well… that one" I said pointing to a larger scar running down the side of my forearm "And those" I rolled up my shirt to my shoulder pointing out I few big ones on my upper arm "Are from Pennsatucky the rest, I'm pretty sure you can guess"

"Why would you do that to yourself" she asked almost disgusted.

"Because I was in there for 9 fucking months, yeah I asked a guard for the date and did the math, nine FUCKING MONTHS DAMNIT" I yelled.

"O-o- Okay um what about the Tattoos" she asked quietly.

"Well it hurts" I said simply, and she understood.

"You need somebody, just go and talk to someone you need help"

 **BP**


	8. Chapter 8

_-you need help"  
_  
"What the hell was that about" Alex said coming around the corner wrapped in only a towel. I pulled down my sleeve as fast as I could and tried to make a run for. "Piper Damnit what happened to you" she asked as I tried to walk away but was blocked by her arm. Being so close to her was intoxicating I had to find a way out. Thankfully one of her little play toys came walking around the corner so I ducked under her arm to make a run for it.

"Chapman" Pornstache called, I froze had Watson reported me for self harm or told him about what happened in the bathroom.

"Damnit Chapman get your ass over here we got your bunk mate" he called. I let out a breath before turning around and following him to get my things. "You've been assigned a new bunk and that new counselor, names Bernie or something like that" oh well that's reassuring.

Apparently I was in the suburbs, being close to Alex would be hard but I would manage now all I had to do was figure out why all these people were giving me some dirty looks especially Nicky how do they not recognize me?

"Right here Blondie" I set up my bunk before looking around to try and figure out my Bunkie, she had Ms. Claudette's blanket, Damnit they must have taken my stuff. "Damnit ima get those fuckers" I swore under my breath before looking around the room for the rest of my belongings.

"Nicky I swear to god if you do not give me my radio your nose won't be the only thing that's broken" I threatened.

"And who the hell are you" she snapped back.

"That is my radio"

"No it's not you must be new here you don't just go around telling people to give you their shit, it don't work like that"

"Damnit Nicky that is my fucking radio it has my initials on the back" She went pale before looking at the radio then back then back at me again.

"No, no this ain't yours this was Chapman's"

"Yeah and It still is now give me my fucking radio back" I yelled.

"Holy shit Chapman you're alive" she asked loud enough for most of the dorm to hear.

"Yes I'm alive" I shouted back "now radio in hand NOW" I ordered. She handed me the radio with shaky hands. I turned around to see most people staring at me with blank faces I just ignored them and walked out to the Chapel Tattoo gun in hand but when I opened the door I got a front seat view of Alex and some inmate I had never seen before I slammed the door walking out and hid the gun behind the shed again but before I could get away a sweaty Alex came running up behind me. "Piper wait"

"What the hell do you want from me Alex" I shouted at her.

"You've been gone for 9 months and now you just come back out of nowhere and I can't even have a conversation with you, what the hell was that all about in the bathroom I thought you and Janae hated each other" she shouted back. "I deserve some fucking answers do you know how painful it was thinking you were gone, it fucking hurt why won't you let me in"

"Oh so you're the victim here are you, I've been in SHU for who knows how long and the first thing you do when I get back is try and get in my pants, no Alex things don't work like that, you didn't want anything to do with me before so what's the difference now you have your play toys so why don't you just go and fuck off" I shouted back.

"HEY back off both of you" a new voice yelled coming in between us.

"Fuck you Pipes I thought you were dead" she said with tears in her eyes ignoring the C.O.

"Don't fucking try that pipes shit with me Alex " I scoffed and walked away while the lady tried to handle Alex. "Chapman is it really you" a Russian scent called from behind me.

"Damnit what now" I asked turning towards Red.

"Why are you crying" she asked. I hadn't even realized it. Damn you Alex if that guard hadn't gotten there I would have sent her to the hospital.

"It's nothing, how's the kitchen been, have anymore starve outs" I asked. Red wasn't too bad and I guess it wasn't a bad thing to have friends if I'm going to be in here for 3 more years.

"The kitchen is good, we found the chicken you know" she replied. We started catching up on prison gossip, I told her what happened at the trial we had almost made it to the dorms when the guard from outside stopped us.

"Hey Red do you mind if I borrow her for a moment" the woman asked.

"Be careful with this one Chapman" she warned before walking away leaving me alone with the guard.

"Hi I'm guessing you're Chapman" she said offering her hand which I didn't take but that didn't stop her eager demeanor.

"Okay well I'm Berdie Rodgers I'm your new councilor"

I just kept looking at her with a bored expression. She made me walk into her office then sat me down pulling out my file.

"So Piper Chapman, says here you've been in the SHU for the last nine months that's a long time, mind telling me how you got there" she asked smiling but once again I didn't respond.

"Look you're not helping here why won't you talk to me"

"Well why should I" I asked outright.

"I'm trying to help you but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's wrong"

"Oh god you sound like Polly" I groaned this seemed to please her sitting more upright she asked.

"Who's Polly?"

"Oh so that's why Red said to be careful with you" I murmured.

"What can I do to get you to talk; I believe in reasoning, is there any particular job assignment you're hoping for.

"Reasoning huh, sounds more like a bribe" I laughed "how much time do you want" I asked

"give me 30 minutes"

"20 tops" she nodded grabbing the work assignments. "Put me in electric as soon as you can I'm getting bored around here" she nodded scribbling into the folder.

"Alright for starters"… this was going to be a long 20 minutes. "Why were you put in SHU"

"I was put in SHU for beating the shit out of someone in self defense" I answered bored keeping my answers short and emotionless.

"Were you injured in this situation?"

"Yes"

"How severely"

"I don't know… like bad enough to be put in the hospital" I said leaving out the part about not being able to… reproduce. She only nodded.

"What about the other woman"

"Well she needed emergency surgery, we both did but at the trial her face looked… different and she spoke as if she had a hard time moving her mouth"

"Thank you, now I want to ask a few questions about your time in SHU if that's alright if you're not ready to talk about it that's okay just let me know"

I looked at her keeping the same bored expression on my face.

Alright well first off since you where in there for so long usuaky the first thing that would be done is to assess your mental health, during SHU did you hear anything out of the ordinary, start seeing things…"

She continued to name things but I couldn't hear her I could feel myself pale, images of eyes staring at me in the middle of the night, my mother screaming at me for not being good enough making her and the family go through so much pain-.

"Piper, Piper are you okay" Rogers was now beside me shaking my arm.

"Why wait what happened" I coughed out my voice rough.

"I don't know I brought up SHU and you kind of just went pale and started sweating does this happen often" she asked.

"I just got back like 3 days ago I'm not sure nobody really asks me about SHU" I replied my voice somewhat less scratchy.

"What about at night do you have any nightmares, wake up screaming, if you're not sleeping because of being scared to wake others up we need to talk about it" she asked now getting up and sitting on her desk in front of me.

"Um, I well I'm not waking up screaming" I said trying to avoid talking about my night mares, god I wish that 20 minutes would pass faster.

"What about flashbacks" she asked thankfully leaving the sleep topic.

"None other than that one" I replied.

"Do you think you can tell me what happened without going into another one" I hesitated. If she thought I was crazy she could send me back or even worse throw me into psyche. "Don't worry I won't try and send you anywhere or overdose you on some crazy anti anxiety pills I don't believe in that" she said as if reading my mind.

"When I was in SHU" I started my voice quiet and rough. "I would, I would hear things"

"Like voices people you know" she said speaking lowly as if I were a scared child which was exactly how I felt in that moment.

"Like, like my mother, or Alex, and sometimes it, he, I um" I couldn't even say his name right now.

"Can you write it down" I nodded quickly choking back tears.

 ** _Larry_**

"Okay I think that's enough for today, I would like to schedule a couple of meetings just short ones to make sure you're not having too much trouble, I'm also starting a drama class but I won't push you to go until you feel ready but it's there" she said quietly helping me stand up.

When I left I walked straight into the bathroom splashing cold water onto my face. He's not here I told myself, he can't hurt you, you left him, **_but Polly didn't._** I reached the phones as fast as I could without getting yelled at for running, praying to god that I still had pone credits the phone rang 4 times before I heard Polly's scared voice.

"Hello… Piper is that you" she whispered, it hadn't occurred to me that they might think I was dead too.

"Yes Polly yes it's me I'm not dead listen if you're still there you need to get out right now Larry, he'll hurt you he can hurt the baby you need to get out of there now" I said as loudly as I dare. My blood ran cold when I heard a nasally voice in the background " _hey baby who you talking to?"_ "Oh just a friend from work" Polly replied not giving me away.

"Piper oh my gosh listen I'm so sorry"- I stopped her before she could ramble on.

"Damnit Polly didn't you hear me you need to get out of there _now_ " I said a little bit more forcefully.

"What are you talking about I mean I know he was little rough in the bedroom with you and I'm really sorry for taking him from you but I love Larry and we both thought you were dead" she replied apparently he hadn't done anything to her yet which was good.

"Polly you have to listen to me he _will_ hurt you please just listen to me go to your mothers hide somewhere he can't find you at least until Finn's born"

 _"Polly who are you talking to"_ Larry's voice bit in again this time sounding more forceful. "It's just a friend from"-

"WHO IS THIS" Larry yelled taking the phone.

"He, Hello" said the weeping lady when I put the phone into her face.

"Oh um I'm sorry um here's Polly I heard him say embarrassed. I gave the lady a thankful look.

"What did you mean when you said he would hurt the baby" she said suddenly fearful.

"Polly get out of there now and hide where he can't find you, if you need to you can call my brother and tell him I sent you, you need to get out of there NOW" I ordered.

"Okay" she whimpered.

"I'm going to call you again tomorrow and then the day after and if you aren't out I'm calling my brother to get you I have to go now"

We said our goodbyes and I sunk to the ground with my back against the wall hugging my knees. I sat there for a moment before getting up and walking into the suburbs to find all of my belonging back on my bed. I shoved them into my locker before I lay down on my bed a stared at the ceiling, sleep was the last thing I needed right now. I saw Alex and Nicky staring at me Alex was looking a little paler than usual but I pushed it off as nothing.

 **3** **rd** **Person.  
** "Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck up a fuck! DAMNIT" Alex whispered face palming shaking Nicky to look into the bunk Piper was occupying.

"I know she's back I mean Piper she's not dead I wouldn't believe it but here she is…" She stopped her rambling when Alex pointed to the cube she was in "and in your cube oh shit!"

"What the hell am I going to do?" Alex whisper yelled.

"How the hell am I supposed to know" Nicky shrugged.

"Earlier she walked into the chapel while me and the redhead were going at it then she like walked off and there was a lot of yelling and that new councilor came over and… fuck" she groaned.

"I saw her walking out of her office looking kinda rough and apparently some she's having problems with Molly" Nicky said "I mean what kind of a name is Molly, you know I had an uncle once and he had this horse and her name was Molly, but it could have been Holly, or it might have been a P"

"Wait do you mean Polly" Alex asked grabbing her shoulders.

"Yeah I don't know something like that get off of me" Nicky said. _What the hell is wrong with her_ she thought?

"I have to call her" Alex said jumping up and running to the phones receiving a shot along the way. She dialed Polly's number thanking any and all gods above she still had the bitch's number on her list but the voice that picked up was not who she was hoping for.

"Alex?"

"Larry?" ' _fuck'._

 **Hi Readers so sorry for making you wait so long this chapter really wasn't coming together like i wanted it to also with the school year starting updates will be lacking some but i will try to make them longer also any suggestions are helpful, once again sorry for the late update hope you the next one will be up sooner than this one oh and that new one that's supposed to be happening... ha lol i can't even come up with an excuse for that one, good luck my fellow students that have or will be going back into school.  
BP.**


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